The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

03:37 May 31 2007
Times Read: 1,074






I am sure some of you have read the journal entry about PostSecret. The one where I tell me secret that sometimes I looking hoping to see a picture of myself with being loved on it.



Silverbow is amazing and wonderful.



I received this one day:







She fulfilled my secret. She sent that into PostSecret.



I love it. When I have bad days I look at that. It makes me smile. It makes me feel good.

I am going to frame it when a picture of her inside of it.



Every time I see that it makes me smile.



Thank you for being you, beautiful.

You are a light in the middle of the darkest night.

♥

02:19 May 30 2007
Times Read: 1,078


I am loner.

I always have been.

I have been described as an illusion at times. I tend to drift. I drift into different things. When I tend to need a break I go about other things. It’s something that I do. I’ve done it since I have been a child. I’ve found comfort with being able to entertain myself.



I can only handle so many of the world’s problems. They tend to affect me; Un-center me, Un-ground me. I don’t like that feeling. I have so many things going on within my own head it gets difficult.



That is why I stay away from dramatic situations. Even if I am not involved in them, they tend to drive me insane. I’ve lived with drama for so much of my years that I cannot deal with it. I cannot watch someone talk about the same thing over and over again, do the same thing and expect to get different results. It doesn’t happen. Life is too short to indulge in the repetitive cycles of others.



I need to drift. I need to burry myself into different things at time.



I drift. I come back.

It’s a cycle I am comfortable with.

It is part of me.

05:53 May 28 2007
Times Read: 1,093






I am really sick of seeing "smile" everywhere.



CHRIST!!



I log onto aol.com to check my mail.. this is what I see.







Incase you can't see it says smile under the smilie face.



Pisses me off.

19:13 May 24 2007
Times Read: 1,133






It takes an amazing person to make a wish come true. Silverbow you are amazing ♥



I adore you immensely.

00:47 May 22 2007
Times Read: 1,153






How NICE!



Even though she manage to steal tons of shit from me.. she left me an unopened shitty dartboard thing.



I'd like the drive the darts right into her fucking skull. :)



( yes I did actually say that with a smile )

01:59 May 21 2007
Times Read: 1,170

So while my dad was cleaning out my car.. he found the bills. These bills were hidden. Why? Because the stupid cunt opended shit in MY NAME while I was in the hospital. Then she hid the bills in the car so no one would find them. THEN he also found hotel room reciepts that was on my fucking charge card.



STUPID FUCKING CUNT.



That's even to nice to say about a lowlife.



The night she fuckin went to a party on Oct 14th for Halloween she CHARGED a room to my card account. I JUST got out of ER that morning and she fucked me over. Not to mention when I called up to ask the other two hotels about the rooms on my card that I did NOT stay at.. One hotel gave me the number to her moms house and her brothers cell phone. The other gave my car description and license plate number.



Not to MENTION there was a rental car on there from Budget rented in FLINT,Mi. Then she fucking lied and told me that her boss was going to pay for a rental car for her. Asked if I could hold it on my card to get the cheaper online discount. Told me when she got there he was going to call and have it switched to his name.



IT NEVER HAPPENED! I fuckin paid for it. Because she joy rode her ass all around. Over 5,000 miles in one month.



Such a nice feeling when you see your supposed friends face in the rental car she fucked you over with renting, pulling money out of your bank account. Up to 10,000 bucks worth.



Fucking people in hotel rooms she charged on your account, buying shit for other people with money she took from you and acting like she didn't do it.



Oh not to mentioned she fucking opened a Avenue Card and racked that up to 4 hundred and some odd dollars while I was in the hospital.





Oh and the excuse," after all I did i deserved it."



That's a dumb fucking cunt right there for ya!

05:34 May 20 2007
Times Read: 1,179

Sometimes when I look at the site PostSecret.. I see people who have sent in a postcard with a picture of a person with a small note that says.. something great about them with an I love you or you're the reason why I smile.



Sometimes I wish one of those pictures would be me. :o/

01:38 May 18 2007
Times Read: 1,203

Things never to do before going to bed:



1. Look at the Hostel 2 website.



2. Think or say anything perverse.



3. Talk in any sort of flirtatious conversations.





What will happen if this is ignored.



You will have strange dreams that YOU are the one in the movie. Different people will then torture you. (Yes people that you know)



Oddly enough, it was kinda hot.

19:46 May 16 2007
Times Read: 1,224

I find this kind of disturbing.



I know many people saw Hostel. I thought it was a morbid delight. The the fact that it could be true made it even scarier.



So I was looking around and found the Hostel 2 site. There's a menu at the top that looks like a pass port.



While looking I seen something that said bid.

People have uploaded thier pictures to this site and people can 'bid' on them. Like they do in the movies. You get to choose hair color, height, where from and size.



It gave me the heebie jeebies.



Wonder how much I'd get up to?



If you see me on the site.. Would you bid on me? lol



:::EDIT:::



Go bid on me!.. Just think of the things you could do.



*evil giggle*



Crap I guess I should tell you how to get to me.. ahh haha



I am FEMALE. duh.

Blonde Hair.

USA

Tall

Large

27.



Now FIND ME! lol

00:43 May 16 2007
Times Read: 1,232

There's a tornado Warning out... not a WATCH.. a WARNING... and what am I doing?



PLAYING HANGMAN.



Call me an addict if you must.



I still wade in the river of denial.

The Day that Saddens Me
01:40 May 14 2007
Times Read: 1,225

Today is one of the many days a year that saddens me. Today is supposed to be the joyous day to celebrate the love. Love for the person you call Mom. I have grown to loathe Mother's Day over the past 7years.



I loathe it because my mom was taken from me. By a doctor's mistake. One that could have been prevented. My mom was in 100% remission from cancer. Cancer that start out as colon cancer the size of a large grapefruit. She was magic in every sense of the word. Magic that was snuffed out because a doctor didn't have her x-rays done correctly to check for intestinal issue due to scar tissue. Her intestines twisted. She was kept alive for show. I remember being so tired. She came out of surgery and was still in ICU. They told us to get some sleep and they would call us. We came home for 5 minutes. We had an urgent call to come back, she was awake. I remember her once beautiful green eyes. When she looked at me this time, they were grayish-white. With a tube still in her mouth and a firm grip on my hand she mouth," I love you." Then she was gone. She died a horribly, slow, painful death.



Not only did she die that day. A part of me died as well. She was my best friend, my mother, My life.



I honestly don't think I will ever be 100% happy. Especially without her.



This is my Mom:

One of the Most wonderful, amazing, people I have ever known.



This is the last place my mom went. Provence, France. It was the one thing she wanted to do before she passed. I am glad she got her wish.









That picture was one of my Mom's favorite pictures from there. When ever I smell Lavender I always think of her.



I know she's with me in spirit but, it's not the same at time when I really need her the most.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't love her. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss her. There's not a day that goes by that I don't feel part of me missing.



She's an Angel ♥

Ode' To the Whiner.
05:59 May 01 2007
Times Read: 1,317




Cry me some tears

Let me see them fall

I can't believe I hurt your lil feelings

with a simple RIA an all.



I read your thread

And looked for a clue

Of what you were talking about,

were you high on glue?



I then took a look

at a thread placed without care,

Did you really think I'd leave it there?



Flaming and Name calling

Oh tsk tsk tsk

You've earned a suspension

that was the risk.



Oh great now I see

You've messaged me

Oh how joyous this will be



You scream and you cry

You throw nasty words all about

I couldn't help but want to gouge your eyes out.



I tell you I'm done

We will banter no more.

Basically because you were just a bore.



As I glance through the pages

Oh what a joy I see

You've made an entry dedicated to me!



It gives me satisfaction

I can't help but beam

As you've started to once again cry a stream.



It's a vicious cycle.

With the job I do.

But I can't help but get enjoyment from people who boo-who.



I will carry on

As my poem is done.

Looking for my next whiner of fun.



:::bows:::



Thank you.. Thank you.

04:53 May 01 2007
Times Read: 1,134

:: note to self:::



You know you need to get a life when

VR peeps are playing Who's online Poker and you've become a card in almost every hand.



O.o

02:41 May 01 2007
Times Read: 1,139






What kinda crazy bitch goes and makes a cake at 9 at night because they want one.



That's right!!!





ME!



I'm waiting for the divine-cakey-goodness!



What would make it even better?



Someone feeding it to me then shaggin' like rabbits baby!

01:33 May 01 2007
Times Read: 1,141

I want CAKE.



Marble with no Frosting.



JUST cake.



I have one. Maybe I'll go make it.